facebook official

On the radio today,  I heard the most interesting tidbit of information. Ryan Seacrest, my source for all important worldly news, said that the average relationship only lasts 2 years and 9 months. Can anyone guess the reason for throwing in the towel? Social Media!!! They said that most people compare their relationship to those portrayed on facebook and felt they weren’t being treated as well as their peers. They also noted that if they felt they had an issue with their partner, it was just easier for them to end it, rather then working on their relationship. People these days…

This information just stroke a chord with me. For a long time now, I have been questioning the roles of sites such as facebook and instagram within my life. I have most definitely been there, comparing my relationship and level of happiness to those on facebook and thinking, why can’t I be that happy? Is this the right person for me? Do I work too hard in my relationship or is this normal, because Sally over there never seems to have a fight with her boyfriend! I could go on for days, and I hate it.

When I was in my relationship, I did compare myself to others. Facebook sets the bar for what a boyfriend should do and how you should be loved or appreciated. Example: Jessica just got flowers for no reason today? Well, my boyfriend doesn’t do that. I must not mean enough to him or I just need to find anything guy that knows how to treat a lady.  This downward spiral causes self doubt -which can only lead to bad things, or you with one foot out the door.Which leads me to question… If we didn’t have facebook, I would have no idea Jessica got flowers, so would I still have those thoughts? Does facebook promote thoughts that are already lingering in the back of your mind or do they manifest in response to seeing pictures on your newfeed? I like to think it creates the thoughts, prompting you to question and compare most of your life to others.

On the same subject, I also think social media not only ends relationships but puts pressure on people to seek relationships. I am no spring chicken but I am also  relatively young at 28. There is so much pressure for us to find someone to spend the rest of my life with now, that could be a good 70 years if we’re counting, and much of that pressure stems from facebook. My current newsfeed consists of engagement announcements, wedding photos, and baby candids, while I am lagging behind with only dog pictures to share….Mischa, I love you.

BUT let’s me honest, I am not taking the plunge into that next level of my life anytime soon. If we lived in a world without facebook, I wouldn’t be aware of all my “friends” announcements, allowing me to live peacefully as a single lady. Which would probably allow me to think more about myself and my needs, versus how can I compete with these people. Ugh, which reminds me, that my ten year high school reunion is coming up and I am seriously lacking in the bling department and baby photo spreads. PRESSURE!!

Sometimes, I would like to delete my account but then there is always a part of me feeling like I will be missing something. Its like a vicious cycle. You want to be able to live your life according to your own standards but you can’t live without knowing what everyone else will think/ how you compare. I think its sad that we let ourselves susceptible to this and also that we don’t have the drive to fight anymore, but I won’t go further on that topic.. another post for another day!

What do you think? Is there a way to avoid the facebook curse??

Xj

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3 Comments on “facebook official

  1. Love this post! It is sooo true! I listen to this one radio show– Dr. Laura— lol and, she talked about some things that really stuck with me. She mentioned that the whole social media world has made young people grow up feeling like their lives are on a platform or stage of sorts. Where we derive our sense of whether people care from them “liking” or “commenting” on pictures and statuses when this can be a totally superficial relationship because some of these people aren’t really friends in the true sense of the word. The only thing I’d have to say about not comparing yourself to others and what has helped me because I have felt that way for years, would be coming to peace inside that you are not at the same place and thus don’t even want the same things right now. And then knowing that everything is exactly as it should be in life for a reason. It helps to look at everything that you can do that others can’t based on where you are in life…. I’m sure many people would want to be able to do x,y,z…that you are able to do because you aren’t married, with kids, volunteering in africa, backpacking through europe etc haha No one( or most people) don’t post about all the things they wish they had… it tends to be announcements, bragging, or random updates of sorts. And when its the bragging (which flowers kind of fall into? lol) …I would think that some things are meant to make you happy for yourself only– texting it to your closest few friends or to your mom (who actually does care!) rather than your closest 500 is enough.

    Sorry this is so long! hahahahah Love your blog 🙂

    • So true!! I heard you talk about Dr. Laura, I have to take a listen to her! After I posted this, I had a hundred more thoughts on this subject, mostly about what you just said. Most people only put the good things on facebook or brag, which is what you are seeing 99% of the time. So you are the only one experiencing both the goods AND bads of your relationship, while constantly being reinforced by only the positives of someone else’s relationship thus giving you a skewed perception of how things work. Everyone has fights and things to work on but sometimes social media paints a too pretty picture of things. its just so interesting because it is changing the mentality of a whole population.. its crazy to think about it! Thanks for the tips, Dom!
      and i LOVE you comments. Dialogue is what i’m after!

  2. Just announce that you are taking a break from Facebook…many of my friends do, whether it’s for a day, a week, or months….life was so much simpler before computers

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